How to be Confident When You're On a Budget

Being a Broke-Ass Wiseguy

As I mentioned in a previous post, a lot of things that help you become confident are related to money. The costs that are incurred when presenting yourself in a capitalistic society can be quite high. One might think that in order to be confident, they must have money. Money to go out, money to buy gifts, money to stay fit and look great.

In reality, it's the other way around; Money comes to the confident man. But for you, my confidence-deficient brethren, the journey is different. You must change your path, and travel that road that conflicts with your affliction. There are a few ways to do this.

Drop Yourself Directly Behind Enemy Lines

If you are lacking self-confidence and don't have any money, you will need to alleviate at least one of these problems. Having confidence without money is fine. Having money without confidence is....OK, but the underlying problem is still gnawing at the postman's ass.

You can kill that persistent beast, like many before you, by going straight into its den and fighting it every day, licking your wounds afterward, until your skin is so tough and leathery that its bites cannot penetrate it, allowing you to drop the lethal blow to its skull with your auto mechanics' rubber mallet.

This means going out there, getting into the mix, talking out loud about whatever you want, shrugging off people's cute little Harvard remarks about your outfits, and eventually garnering the respect of your peers. Of course, the rules still apply. You can't just start hangin' out with a bunch of fine-ass rich girls looking like a bum and smelling like an unwashed bum. The rules of confidence: keep your ass and neck clean, have hobbies and aspirations, etc.

Before you know it, you'll be talking like them, making jokes they laugh at, and you'll feel like you accomplished something. Why? Because you did! You came in there bedraggled and downtrodden, and rose to a level of comfortability that you never knew before. Now you too can talk down at society's failures!

 

Inherit Some Money or Start a Bad-Ass Business

If someone in your family drops a shit ton of cash on you, you're in luck! This will allow you to buy your success, and you'll be able to drink it all away in shame, because you still lack those interpersonal skills so badly needed for human interaction. Look at it this way, though - now you can at least afford some therapy!

If it's a business you've inherited, and you're constantly knocking down all your profits by drinking and throwing lavish parties to keep your social revenue up - try to get a competent manager in there so they can keep your head out of water as you spiral downward into addiction. You can still invest in some therapy.

If you're running the business and want to be successful, you're still going to be Behind Enemy Lines, like above. You will have to convey that confidence, especially if you are selling something. Ass and neck clean, you will be fighting the Beast.

 

A Mixture of the Two

If you would like to appear like you are doing OK, but want to subtly ease your way into the mix, then here is the step for you - and the whole point of this post! This is confidence on a budget, and here are a few ways you can cut costs to get the most out of your buck.


- Quit going out to eat. If you live in an apartment, you (hopefully) have a refrigeration unit and a freezer. These can be used for (gasp!) storing food, and that costs WAY less than going to Taco John's Shiskebab every day after work. The only exception to this is eating from the dollar menu, and only getting a couple of items. You can cook your own food for less than half the cost of having it prepared. This is also cool, because you can cook FOR OTHER PEOPLE. That's always cool. One downside is that it takes time, but you weren't really doing anything anyway, were you? If you're really struggling, you can eat ramen noodles all the time, and you'll still have money left to buy the extra toilet paper that you're gonna need.

- If you're REALLY broke (or if it looks like you're really broke to the government), you can get food stamps. All it takes is a day in a dingy downtown office and a follow-up, maybe two. These things are gold, because you can use them to have some pretty big barbecues. Also, you can sell em! Give your buddy 100 bucks worth of food and ask him for 50 dollars. Score! (Don't do that, it's illegal.)

- Get a roommate, or get a smaller place. You can effectively cut your rent cost in half with a roommate. A lot of times, the problem is finding someone who will actually carry their own weight. A secondary problem is finding someone who doesn't get drunk every night and piss on the couch. You can also look into getting a music rehearsal room. They are cheap, and you're not really supposed to "live" in them, but if you have a computer and do, say, graphic design, you can put all your shit in there, and go sleep at your girl's house.

- Avoid Contracts. These will kill you in an uncertain economy. Stay away from subscription services that hook your ass up when you least expect it during the month. There's nothing worse than going out with a girl from a concert and wanting to get breakfast for her, only to find out that your Asian Cum Guzzler subscription hit, and you're 20 bucks in the hole (no pun intended). Try and have few bills as possible: rent, internet, phone. Consolidate anything you can.

- Cheap Clothes, Great Price. There are a lot of stores that have discounted brand-name clothes. In my area, it's Ross. You can get some good shit from there that would otherwise cost you a small fortune. And no one will ever notice the manufacturing defects.

- Other Cheap Shit that's cool. There are drink specials, matinee movies, museum coupons... keep your eyes peeled for stuff like that, because you'll need 'em when you finally go out with a girl.

- If you gotta smoke, roll on! Smoking is a pain in the ass. It's expensive and messes up those things you use to breathe. But all the black-lung pictures in the world can't hold a flame to the way that smoking alleviates anxiety (until you get addicted - then it causes it). If you gotta smoke, try rolling your own. It's a hell of a lot cheaper. Get a roller for a few bucks, a carton of tubes for a few bucks, and a pound of tobacco for about 40. That should roll almost 3 cartons, and that's a lot cheaper than $6 or $8 or $10 a day. Very tedious, though. And don't let anyone see you doing it, cuz you might get called out for being a cheap-ass!

- Drinking. Well, a little drink never hurt anyone.


I know this all sounds sarcastic, but in all seriousness, these techniques are meant to spark your imagination. Anything you can do to cut your cost when you're on a budget means more money in your pocket. The rapper Fat Joe used to sleep in abandoned apartments, and he never told his girlfriend about it. She thought he was out doing his thing, and going home to a comfortable bed, or his mom's house, or whatever. The point is, perception is reality!

UPDATE: So, this is an older post, and I can see by reading it, I am still thinking along the lines of external validation, i.e. using money and status to feel better about the self. I believe it is true that if you have money, you will feel confident, because it allows freedom and resources to give others, creating status. It is much more practical to build self-esteem through internal validation, though, and that is a concept I will be exploring further from now on.