An Anxiety Story
You are standing in line to get something to eat. You can be at school, work, at a restaurant. You are single. There is a beautiful woman standing in line in front of you. She smells like a dream. She has a book with her, and you've read it before. She has a bracelet on that says, "Down with the facists." You feel that way, too! You've realized that you have some things in common with this person, she's around the same age as you.... Go talk to her!
Suddenly, you think your breath might be a little dank. You notice a stain on your shirt. You remember a different time that you talked to a girl, and she dismissed you like the peon you are. You see other guys looking at her from tables, and you worry that you might get into a fight. You think your jeans might be a little tight for your big ass. Now you feel like the whole restaurant is staring at you and laughing on the inside!
What you are experiencing is anxiety.
Anxiety is fear, in a nutshell. It is actually a human reaction. It was designed to protect us - keep us from danger - and when you are in a fearful situation, your body reacts by throwing those wonderful spurts of adrenaline into our your bloodstream. Fight or flight, as the texts say.
So, why am I scared of talking to this girl, you ask? There could be a number of reasons. The most likely is that you have low self-esteem, and you are afraid of the impending rejection you will most likely face. Another, more subtle, is that you are afraid of the surrounding people laughing at you - humiliation. Or maybe, you've seen someone get the snot beaten out of them for talking to a girl, and you don't think you can handle that on this lovely September day.
These are normal feelings, but when the anxiety is constant and keeps you from leading a "normal" life (I put "normal" in quotes, because normality is in the eye of the beholder, in my opinion), then it becomes and anxiety disorder. This is a crippling disorder, leaving the sufferer to exist as a person filled with lots of love, imagination, and aspiration all canned inside of a shell that smells of fear and unwillingness.
Don't Think Too Highly of Yourself?
This is the underlying cause of anxiety. It is also the underlying cause of depression. It is imperative that you try and figure out how to believe in yourself, as an anxiety disorder can disrupt and torture your life for as long as you let it. Therapy is almost mandatory. Of course, you could fake it until you make it, but once you make it, you'll still be facing your enemy within, and once people have seen the real fear that you possess, all of the pseudo-confidence will come crashing down like a house of cards - which will send you into a self-loathing like none other.
Are You Feeling a Little Anxious?
Aside from the little adventure above, anxiety can manifest itself in so many ways.
Are you a perfectionist? A perfectionist is often afraid to let his/her work out into the public eye unless it is absolutely flawless. This takes so much time from productivity, and each project becomes an obsession. ("I will start talking to girls once I have more money, a new car, a haircut, and some new clothes.")
Do you procrastinate? Like the perfectionist above, projects and ideas become obsessions. Unlike the perfectionist above, projects don't get started! The fear of being inadequate stops productivity before it even starts. ("Man, what's the use of being a musician? There are so many people out there that are better than me, there's not a chance in hell that I'll make it big, or even be successful.")
The Cure
Like the simple word "fear" that describes/doesn't do justice to anxiety, there is a simple phrase that describes how to overcome it: "Do What Makes You Happy."
So simple it's stupid, right?
Go out there and do your thing. Get your ass kicked. Get laughed at. Build from what you know. Become something great. The confidence will follow.
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