Being Confident Around Girls
You may not know this, but girls are actually not so interested in how confident you are as a person, but how confident you are around other males. I guess I just contradicted myself. Yes, they are interested in how confident you are. Of course, if you are confident around other males that you don't know, then you are most likely to talk to her from out of the blue. If you are shy around other males, or are afraid of getting ridiculed so you tend to keep quiet, then the ladies are going to smell that and run like hell.
How many times have you thought to yourself, "Man, why is she with that asshole? I hate that guy?" If you've asked yourself that, then he's probably a lot more confident than you are.
It's instinctual, actually. Women tend to find someone who is assertive and often brash. It's hardwired into their genetics. Even as they influence laws that prohibit this behavior, they still want it. Need it. The male who is confident in his abilities can do many things: talk to people (network/build teams), look for better work or be his own boss, and oppose those who are in his way. All of these traits are beneficial to women (and also other men).
So, how do you become more confident around girls?
Well, I have a list of What girls want that is very similar to the "how to be more confident" list.
1) State your opinion, unless it's a little too zany. Like my "God doesn't exist" speil. They don't like that too much. It makes them cry.
2) Contrastingly, accept her opinion, and don't go off the deep end trying to disprove her. Agree to disagree, if you gotta.
3) Stay healthy. This is important, especially as you get older, because after 15 years of eating junk food (Americans), your body cannot process it like it could when you were younger. We all know problems are compounded with 10+ years of alcohol abuse. If you simply have to have alcohol in order to talk to girls, you should seek pyschiatric evaluation - you might have an anxiety disorder. AA works, but I believe it ignores the underlying disorder. Also, if you're not healthy, combative situations will be difficult. What are you going to do after the Apocolypse, and there is no law and order? It's important to stay in shape. Or get a gun.
4) Stay clean. I'm not talking about dope, I'm talking about your clothes and face! Shave, get your haircut, buy new clothes every once and a while, and take a shower VERY often. Oh, and brush your teeth.
5) Have money. That way, you can do all the things I'm telling you here. New clothes, haircuts, comfortable place to live, good food, at least an OK car, dentist/doctor appointments, hobbies, taking people out (to eat, dummy) - these are all things ON TOP OF basic shelter, electricity, water, phone, basic clothing/hygiene, and a moving vehicle. There is a difference between "moving vehicle" and "OK car".
6) Be aggressive. This doesn't mean yelling at your frat buddy at the door to join you from the back booth at Chili's. It means not being scared to ask for directions, saying "hello" to the cashier at the store, or calling the insurance company for 2 hours trying to figure out why you were overcharged. The word "aggressive" sounds like a macho term, but it means so much more. Go out and get what you deserve or want.
7) Posture. This is a little cliche', but it's true. The more you look like you are beat down, downtrodden, and blue, the more the people around you are going to believe that. Keep your shoulders wide, your back straight, and your chin up (or at least level? Can we make that happen?). Face the world! Don't look away!
Hopefully, this will get you started (who am I kidding, this is what you'll be doing for the rest of your life).
I've said it before, but I'm no expert. I don't have half of the list up there, and that is why I'm not out dating beautiful women. I did have a lot of those things in the past, though, and when I did, I felt a lot better about myself. One of the mysteries about the whole situation is the money thing. Nowadays, money is the indicator of who you are as a person (America), with the high consumerism that we have. It will be hard to go to school, make many networking contacts, do speeches if needed, and sustain a high-paying position if you are not confident. However, everything is relevant to your area. If you live in an above-average suburb, then you must be ready to compete with the people in that area, their values and standards. If you live in a rough neighborhood or out in the country, the same things apply. Not every place in the world places such a high value on its currency to the point where no man can find a mate, or feels uncomfortable around the opposite sex.
Update
Here is my new updated How to be Confident Around Girls post. Enjoy!
You may not know this, but girls are actually not so interested in how confident you are as a person, but how confident you are around other males. I guess I just contradicted myself. Yes, they are interested in how confident you are. Of course, if you are confident around other males that you don't know, then you are most likely to talk to her from out of the blue. If you are shy around other males, or are afraid of getting ridiculed so you tend to keep quiet, then the ladies are going to smell that and run like hell.
How many times have you thought to yourself, "Man, why is she with that asshole? I hate that guy?" If you've asked yourself that, then he's probably a lot more confident than you are.
It's instinctual, actually. Women tend to find someone who is assertive and often brash. It's hardwired into their genetics. Even as they influence laws that prohibit this behavior, they still want it. Need it. The male who is confident in his abilities can do many things: talk to people (network/build teams), look for better work or be his own boss, and oppose those who are in his way. All of these traits are beneficial to women (and also other men).
So, how do you become more confident around girls?
Well, I have a list of What girls want that is very similar to the "how to be more confident" list.
1) State your opinion, unless it's a little too zany. Like my "God doesn't exist" speil. They don't like that too much. It makes them cry.
2) Contrastingly, accept her opinion, and don't go off the deep end trying to disprove her. Agree to disagree, if you gotta.
3) Stay healthy. This is important, especially as you get older, because after 15 years of eating junk food (Americans), your body cannot process it like it could when you were younger. We all know problems are compounded with 10+ years of alcohol abuse. If you simply have to have alcohol in order to talk to girls, you should seek pyschiatric evaluation - you might have an anxiety disorder. AA works, but I believe it ignores the underlying disorder. Also, if you're not healthy, combative situations will be difficult. What are you going to do after the Apocolypse, and there is no law and order? It's important to stay in shape. Or get a gun.
4) Stay clean. I'm not talking about dope, I'm talking about your clothes and face! Shave, get your haircut, buy new clothes every once and a while, and take a shower VERY often. Oh, and brush your teeth.
5) Have money. That way, you can do all the things I'm telling you here. New clothes, haircuts, comfortable place to live, good food, at least an OK car, dentist/doctor appointments, hobbies, taking people out (to eat, dummy) - these are all things ON TOP OF basic shelter, electricity, water, phone, basic clothing/hygiene, and a moving vehicle. There is a difference between "moving vehicle" and "OK car".
6) Be aggressive. This doesn't mean yelling at your frat buddy at the door to join you from the back booth at Chili's. It means not being scared to ask for directions, saying "hello" to the cashier at the store, or calling the insurance company for 2 hours trying to figure out why you were overcharged. The word "aggressive" sounds like a macho term, but it means so much more. Go out and get what you deserve or want.
7) Posture. This is a little cliche', but it's true. The more you look like you are beat down, downtrodden, and blue, the more the people around you are going to believe that. Keep your shoulders wide, your back straight, and your chin up (or at least level? Can we make that happen?). Face the world! Don't look away!
Hopefully, this will get you started (who am I kidding, this is what you'll be doing for the rest of your life).
I've said it before, but I'm no expert. I don't have half of the list up there, and that is why I'm not out dating beautiful women. I did have a lot of those things in the past, though, and when I did, I felt a lot better about myself. One of the mysteries about the whole situation is the money thing. Nowadays, money is the indicator of who you are as a person (America), with the high consumerism that we have. It will be hard to go to school, make many networking contacts, do speeches if needed, and sustain a high-paying position if you are not confident. However, everything is relevant to your area. If you live in an above-average suburb, then you must be ready to compete with the people in that area, their values and standards. If you live in a rough neighborhood or out in the country, the same things apply. Not every place in the world places such a high value on its currency to the point where no man can find a mate, or feels uncomfortable around the opposite sex.
Update
Here is my new updated How to be Confident Around Girls post. Enjoy!
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