Anxiety - Playing the Long Game

I started this blog 8 years ago. I just found it again in 2018 lol.

I find it simply hilarious that one of the best-performing posts on here is "I'm So Anxious, I Can't Get Anything Done". Self-fulfilling prophecy at it's finest!

But all is not lost, that post garnered some views, and 2 comments! Thank you.

As I ponder my past musings, and reflect on events in my life, I think it is safe to say that a long-game strategy is probably one of the best attitudes to keep. That is completely the opposite of the messages that we receive every day in society. It also follows the "abundance" mentality - that if you cannot have something, you shouldn't fret, because there is always more of that thing in your surroundings.

I built these few blog posts, and then I was whisked away by life, and I utterly forgot about it. It remained, however, and whatever backlinks I sent to the site stayed intact, and here we are.

I was anxious at the time. I'm still anxious today. I went through a short period where my anxiety was not as controlling, but when I face a personal crisis or hard times, it rushes back in to "give me a helping hand".

I am not unemployed; I am currently a waiter. It sounds trite, but I actually like doing it, because it allows me to speak Japanese most days. The pay can be rather nice at times, after busting my ass all night. Plus, Japanese etiquette says I can drink with my customers on the job ;)

But sometimes I get anxious because I want more.

I was an electronics technician in the Navy. I was a liaison for US heads of companies at a large distribution company in Tokyo, and a kick-ass stand-up forklift operator.

But I have my own strange views about money. I've never liked it.

"Well, there's your problem," I just heard you say.

I will now retract my statement, and put it a different way: "I don't believe that money is the only way to indicate a person's worth". I also don't like working for someone whose policies I do not agree with.

I do like the freedom and resources that money provide in current year. In older times, that freedom and resourcefulness would have been gained by guts and smarts. If you wish to have resources and freedom, then you must play the game of the dishers-out of the green.

I sometimes regret leaving the creativity stifling 14-hour a day 6-day workweeks at the distribution center for a high-paced bartending job at a busy Tokyo nightclub, and all the problems that came with that. Nothing could top that experience, but now sitting in my apartment with 2 roommates and a meh existence can cause the ol' anxiety to flare up. These 2 youngsters are constantly going out, meeting new people, online gaming and always laughing. I miss all of that. I could do all of that - and sometimes do - but I'm a little more careful with muh money these days.

Of course, I could have played the long game back then, too, and I would probably be sitting fat somewhere in Yokohama. I couldn't even fathom "long game" when I was 23.

Then I look online by happenstance, and see my 8 year-old blog with 2000 views a year, and I got a smile. Not a laugh, a smile :)

I hope to curb my anxiety long enough to revitalize this blog. I haven't read through all the posts, but I am positive I've made some discoveries since my last post 4 years ago.