Anxiety and Motivation for Self-Esteem

I am 22 hours into a fast. I am fasting to clean out my body and lose weight. At the end of the fast, I told myself I would go to the gym to push some heavy weight, then come home and break the fast with about 5 strips of bacon :)

I believe that the foundation of confidence, at least in my situation, is a healthy body and mind. I believe that the healthy mind follows the healthy body, so the body is first. Generations ago, there was not so much worry about having an unhealthy body, because our food was so much less processed. All natural foods, less chemicals in the environment. We are now in a world where we constantly validate ourselves through food and entertainment.

A problem I am having at the moment is actually putting on my shoes and driving 3 minutes down the street to get behind the chest press and push some weight. My thought process is going like this:

1) Wake up. Man, I'm hungry. Smoke a cigarette.
2) I've got to go the gym. I really don't want to go out there.
3) It's cold. I won't be in there long, just 15 or 20 minutes.
4) Eh, but I know there are all those big dudes in there. My little weight will be an embarrassment.
5) Just go - I need to do something good for myself (self-validation)
6) Smoke another cigarette. Really don't want to put my contacts on.
7) My knee and lower back hurt. (heart starts racing)
8) Maybe I should write all these thoughts down in the blog. How does all of this tie into my blog? (procrastination)
9) What if I forget all of these thought processes? I won't have anything to write about. (more procrastination)
10) I'll just jot it all down real quick, and then do my little workout. My body needs some good stress. (procrastination, followed by self-validation)
12) Nobody knows me there, I'll be in and out.
13) brb

...And I'm glad I went. I feel much better, and that bacon is going to be awesome.